FF7: Barret vs The Burger King Guy 2: Second Bout
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! This is the second episode of the Barret vs. The Burger King Guy trilogy. Barret and the gang go to Burger King for lunch. There, Barret has a big surprise waiting for him from an old foe. Rated T for language and violence.


**Story**: Barret vs. The Burger King Guy 2: Second Bout  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: February 15th, 2007  
**Genre**: Action/Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language, violence)  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own FF7, Square-Enix, The Burger King chains, or its crazy-ass mascot either!

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**One Shot: Barret vs. The Burger King Guy 2: Second Bout**

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Barret, Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Cid, Vincent, Cait Sith, and Red XIII were all eating lunch at Burger King a week after Barret's encounter with the restaurant's mascot at his house that night. While everyone else ate, Barret was too busy scoping the area for any signs of the Burger King Guy.

"**Barret, will you chill out and eat already?"** Tifa said in between bites of her burger.

"**Yeah, listen to the little lady and eat your damn food,"** Cid added, sipping his soda.

"**I'm telling you guys, that mother-#$&!# Burger King Guy is out to get me again, I'm sure of it!"** Barret said, loading his gun-arm as he continued to peer around the restaurant.

"**Dude, relax. Though I'm still a bit skeptical of your story on how this guy blew up half your house in all, we will know if something isn't going right around here,"** Cloud said.

"**Yeah, like, what could a wimp like that possible do to a bear like you?"** Yuffie added.

"**Yeah, I guess you're right,"** Barret said as he got up and left the table.

"**Where are you going now?"** Red XIII asked.

"**To take a dump,"** Barret said as he went into the bathroom.

After walking down the hallway, he went in and did his business. He washed his hands and then opened the door, starting to make his way back.

Suddenly out of nowhere the Burger King Guy jumps him from behind and swings a sharp, oversized onion-ring around Barret's neck trying to choke him.

"**Son of a bitch!"** Barret yells as he tries to fight off the 'King' and remove the hot, sharp ring from around his neck. After a brief struggle, Barret manages to throw the 'King' off of him.

"**You want some more, bitch? You got it!"** Barret yells as he raises his arm and begins firing at the 'King'. Acting quickly, the Burger King Guy rolls out of the way and runs out of the hall and around the corner. Barret growled and began perusing him.

Around the corner, Barret saw the 'King' dive over the main counter. He decides to follow suit and started to climb over the counter himself, but was quickly met by a large serving tray that the 'King' used to smack Barret with.

Now pissed off even more, Barret punches through the tray and then grabs the 'King', slamming him into the deep frying machine. He takes his hand and began forcing the 'King's' headed into the hot boiling oil, but the mascot retaliates with a kick in between Barret's legs.

"**ARGH!"** Barret yells as he doubles-over from the kick. The 'King' then uses the opportunity to perform a DDT on him. Barret quickly recovered and grabbed the 'King' by his robe and swing him out of the kitchen and near onto the play-area with the giant tubes where the kids can crawl through.

Barret ran after the 'King', running past the table where the other FF7 cast was sitting.

"**Did you hear something?"** Cait Sith asked.

"**No,"** Vincent said, the only one of the group who actually noticed that Barret was being assaulted.

"**You're going down!"** Barret yells as he spotted the 'King' get up and start crawling through the play-area's tunnels. Barret dove in as well. Though it was a bit snug, he still managed to crawl after the mascot.

About halfway up, Barret lost track of the 'King'.

"**Where'd that bastard go?"** he growled.

As soon as he said that, a stream of soft-serve Vanilla ice cream began pouring down the tube Barret was in.

"**Whoa whoa WHOA!"** Barret yelled as he lost his grip and began sliding back down the tube backwards right into the ball pit.

As Barret resurfaced from the colorful balls around him, he was knocked back down as the 'King' belly-flopped right on top of him. Several rounds of gunfire from Barret's gun arm streamed many directions out from underneath the balls as he tried to shoot up the 'King'.

"**Hee-YA!"** Barret yelled, kicking the 'King' off of him, and then shoving him through the nets back out into the eating area.

The 'King' got up and picked up a nearby chair and attempted to swing it over Barret's head, but Barret stops it mid-way and tosses it aside. He then proceeded to grab the 'King', lift him up into the air, and chuck him through the outside window with a loud crash.

A minute later, Barret, beaten and bruised, drags himself back to the table and flops down hard on his chair.

"**Barret, where have you been? Did you fall in?"** Yuffie asked, poking fun at him.

Yuffie was suddenly then met with an Angus Burger in her face, which Barret had thrown out of frustration.

"**Damn you Burger King Guy, I'll be ready to finish you off the next time we meet…" **Barret said, clenching his fist.

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**Barret may have won this round, but the war is not over. Please review!**

**And check out the final part of this trilogy: Barret vs. The Burger King Guy 3: Final Bout, already up!**


End file.
